YOUR LIFE IS ONLY AN ILLUSION!

Lost .

Completely lost.

That was how I felt,

Completely shut out,

Could it help that I felt so numb ?

So out of everything.

That's how I felt when I lost both of them.

They were my life.

My world completely left my body.

Forced to wander the streets at the age of 16,

Cursed to see how wicked the world was.

Well my story , 

I never had one after that

After wandering from home 

Where would I have gone to either ways ?

I had no home again.

No one remembered me.

No one even knew I existed.

I guess I was my own family now .

At 17,

Tattered,

Still searching for hope 

I grew from grace to grass

Ironic cause the statement was to go higher.

But I felt lower.

Begging for food each day, 

Wandering , 

Sleeping in between forests and cross-roads.

That was my life now.

Just when I thought nothing could get worse,

And then he came unto me,

Held out his hand ,

And it felt like I could trust him.

I didn't even know him.

He looked like he was in his 20's

And then I saw a little gleam of hope.

Or should I say I thought I had found hope.

He concluded he was going to help me.

I believed him,

But I forgot,

I forgot , 

Not everyone has good in their heart.

I should have known I was better off by myself than letting a stranger in.

He brought me in,

It was only for a night ,

Through the light ,

I had seen this man was clearly drunk.

He brought me in

Only to make a fool out of me

He needed a toy.

He saw some shitty orphan on the road

And decided she was the perfect girl to mess with.

No one would care less about her.

That night ,

He made a woman out of me.

He made me believe there was nothing like trust.

He took my flower

At 17.

At 17 ? 

Mom had always told me to wait and get it done with the perfect man

She never told me someone would desire to take it by force.

Dumped once more,

I was back alone 

I wasn't sure what was left in me.

My jacket seemed too light to handle the cold I was feeling.

My tears felt like a hot pool,

I was slowly drowning in.

The next day ,

I felt so empty.

I didn't know someone was watching 

And he asked me 

"What's your story ?"

The question echoed mentally in my head 

Do I even have a story ?

But he could see the hurt in my eye

The despair in my face,

The thirst in my tongue

The eagerness for death to take me 

And it wasn't too long before he began to paint me.

Right there,

My hair seemed like a mess

And he caught my tear

Right before they fell to the floor

Was there anything left of me ?

I'd rather join mom and dad in heaven 

I dried my tears 

Only to see the painting 

He had pictured my story and created art in every piece.

And right there,

Right then,

It dawned on me.

I wasn't even sure what was keeping me alive anymore....